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Lifestyle Sexual Advice
increase a mans semen load size?
How do you get a metal cock ring on?
more sexual advice advice
Lifestyle Etiquette
I'm not sure how I should respond?
worried about him now agreeing to go & us being ignored
rightmore etiquette advice
Relationship Advice
"just give it up, its not going to happen".
we are having trouble with a happy medium
more relationship advice
Friendships, Clubs & More...
It's intimidating, so do you have any suggestions for being more active?
Any suggestion is much appreciated. Take care!
more friendship advice
Almost everything you wanted to know about the lifestyle, couples, bi curious females and swingers clubs... but were afraid to ask !!!

Question: Fun loving couple looking for new adventures 

Dear Lounge Advice,
Hi I am new to the lifestyle. My bf, whom I am very much in love with, has had a lot more experience with all of it.
I’ve always been curious, even before him, so I don’t think it’s just because of him that I want to explore swinging. We had one fun night with another couple and it was a positive experience. I felt even closer to him, like having a naughty adventure with a best friend. We went back again last night and we were having a lot of fun again. There was one couple we were interested in, the girl was the one we were both interested in. We were all dancing and it was a lot of fun. The guy was complimenting me and being really affectionate and the girl was dancing with my bf. It all felt fun and sexy until the girl and my bf were face to face dancing so sexy and were kissing. My heart dropped and I got so sad.
I wasn’t expecting that to happen, it just came out of the blue. Then I went to sit down so my bf asked me if I wanted to leave. I was trying to pull myself together and figure out why I got that horrible sinking feeling. I don’t want him to think I can’t handle the lifestyle, we had a great experience the first time. I’m not even sure what came up to have that painful gut reaction. I’m just trying to figure out how to deal with these feelings and how to not have them and still be able to be adventurous with my bf



Dear (Anonymous),

Kissing is a VERY powerful thing…both receiving one and observing one.

Since "kissing" is generally and traditionally associated with "romance/love" it usually feels uncomfortable or down right negative to observe your partner giving or receiving a kiss from someone other than yourself so there is nothing wrong with how you are initially feeling.

That being said "kissing" in the lifestyle usually happens A LOT and can take some adjusting to at first if your new to it.

There are some couples who have no problems at all with their partner/spouse kissing other people during playtime but there are other couples who have strict "no kissing" rules they have agreed with their partner to honor as they view the "kissing" act as reserved only for their love mate/partner/spouse.

In the lifestyle and especially during play time "kissing" can be a huge turn on for the other partner to watch and other times not.

Usually there is no actual "love/emotion" going on…it is purely a form of physical foreplay…and nothing to be concerned about on a relationship level.

You and your partner really should spend some quality time talking about "kissing" and explore both of your feelings on the matter to come to an agreement to what you are both comfortable with and uncomfortable with during playtime.

Question: Aussie in Phoenix looking for tgirls for fun

Dear Lounge Advice,I was wondering if there are transgender tg ts shemale women im new to this and i dont know where to start mesa az



Dear (Anonymous),

While LL welcomes all walks of life….the major population of the membership is more traditional couple, couples with bi partners and singles.

LL Advice

Question: Fit mountain couple, friends first then lets see ?

Dear Lounge Advice,
Over the past year my wife and I have jokingly talked about a MFM threesome, albeit usually after some wine. She was actually the first to bring it up after reading some erotic stories. I'm interested because she is so insatiable and so hot to be with when she is. Anyway I've brought it up in round about conversations since and we've even watched a couple of videos that she seemed to enjoy. Just recently I told her of a MFM dream that I had (honestly did) and she responded "just give it up, its not going to happen".

What? Not sure why the direct about face but maybe the small town, reserved girl in her surfaced, or she had a bad night. What to do? Was I maybe too pushy, she really doesn't want a third, second guessing it all or should I simply confront her after some wine in the hot tub??
Lost at Sea



Dear (Anonymous),

You two need to talk opening and honestly about this when you are both sober and do some deep diving into your true feelings and fantasies.

Don't try to "trick" her into anything while she is "happy" on the influence of the vino…
If she has already said "NO" while completely sober and you put her in a situation while she is under the influence of alcohol…and she participates in something she may greatly regret later that will seriously damage her trust in you to watch over her and her values when she is not fully in control.

If you both agree that your on the same page then pursue that fantasies together as a team :-)

Question: Couple seeking singles and/or other couples

Dear Lounge Advice,

I need a viagra source since my Doctor discouraged me to use it as my blood pressure is good. He seems to think that only people with high blood pressure have ED.

Mr. Uandus2knight



Dear (Anonymous),


For legal reasons we can not directly provide pharmaceutical advise or connections for where to acquire/purchase drugs or enhancement supplements.

Try going to the Forum and reviewing our "Ask the Doctors, and Other Medical Related Topics " area.
You can also start your own topic there.

Obviously if you "Google" viagra there are many online resources to order it or similar products…but this is at your own risk to do so.

Question: Shy but Sensual

Dear Lounge Advice,

I am relatively new in the lifestyle. Admittedly, I'm shy, but I hope to meet friends, travel partners, companionship, maybe even a bf as well as sexual partners.

It's intimidating, so do you have any suggestions for being more active?



Dear (Anonymous),

Hello & Welcome :-)

Make sure to include in your profile's descriptive areas, Type of playmates we are interested in areas and Additional Questions…. exactly what you are looking for.

POST NEW PHOTOS OFTEN. Doing this will insure that your profile is being viewed often which will increase your profile's exposure to other members.

Get active in the Forums…it is yet another opportunity and resource to get yourself out the in front of our members.

Read the profiles….they usually state if what they are looking for for play.

- Use the SEARCH feature(on the top main tool bar) to set up search parameters for what you are looking for and browse member profiles in your area. You can specifically search for Female Sexual Preference….enter Bi-sexual

-Contact via mail or Wish List the members you find that you are interested in meeting with.

-Look at the WHO'S ONLINE area ( Top menu bar)
-Post a Booty Call ( See top main menu)

-Try our CHAT/IM features to contact and meet other members.

GET TO AN EVENT NEAR YOU….this is by far the best way to meet someone in your area.

There are numerous tools and features for you to find other members

Good luck in your search :-

Question: Let’s have fun!:)

Dear Lounge Advice,
I am just getting into the lifestyle and have been fortunate enough to meet a handful of great couples. However, I am a solo male and am finding it a little difficult to meet a solo female. I am considered good looking, positive and have no difficulty socializing/making friends. I’ve never had trouble picking up girls in the vanilla world but I’m finding it difficult here because I don’t really know where to start besides sending messages to women on the site. Is there a designated place for singles to find other singles to build friendships so we can fit in with other couples? Or am I going about this all wrong? Lol
Any suggestion is much appreciated. Take care!



Dear (Anonymous),

On finding an eligible female who is interested in joining you for lifestyle fun, please consult the advice archives. This is a very common question that you will find a lot of feedback on already in the archives.

To get your real seal, somebody has to have met you. If you have already met an LL couple/single female in person… you can ask them to seal you:-)


Dear Lounge Advice,

We are new to this lifestyle, we made a profile which we thinks is well done and tasteful. I feel like we are both attractive but have not had much interest at this point. What else should our profile entail to entice people.



Dear (Anonymous),

Your profile and your photos are fine.

The more active you and your profile are on the site the more views you will most likely receive.
The more views you receive the more like other members are to reach to contact your profile.

Try changing your profile photos often.
Also try participating in the Forum/CHAT,Contests and most importantly..attend some events in your area and let people get to know you in person.

Don't sit around waiting….look at other members in your area and contact them. If you think a profile looks interesting and might be someone you want to get naughty with make the first move and drop them a mail expressing your interest in them :-)

Question: Easy like a Sunday morning..

Dear Lounge Advice, my girlfriend and I are in a open cucking type relationship and I (male) really like it when she dates and plays alone. The question I have is I get upset when she becomes good friends with them. She is dating a old friend from high school now and was close then and is reconnected as friends again. I'm not upset about her having sex but I feel that boundaries should be established about how close the relationship becomes. She says she needs the connection to enjoy sex with others, I understand that.
We are having trouble with a happy medium. Any advice? Thanks john



Dear (Anonymous),

Hi John,

I wish there was a "perfect" answer for you on this but every relationship is it's own unique egg.

"open" or"cuck" relationships can always be a little tricky and take an extreme amount of trust and security in your relationship between both of you to function in a healthy fashion.

If a "cuck" partner of yours/hers is starting to make you uncomfortable then you need to express those feelings to her and be vocal about it and agree on what is acceptable or not in your relationship with this person.
You both have to honor and protect each others feelings to make this work for the best.

It sucks having "guidelines or boundaries" when exploring and participating in sexual fantasies/adventures but with out some basic ones in place between you two things can easily spiral out of control and your relationship with each other could end up in jeopardy as a result.
Our simple rule in the lifestyle is "Us first….all others second!" If one of us is not happy then both of us are not happy. WHATEVER it is that is making one of us not happy means it has to stop or it is time to take a break from that person or couple until the emotions are talked about and resolved to continue.

And our happiness together is more important that any one individual or experience or thing in life.
I hope that makes sense.
But that is what works for us… you have to figure out what works for you two.

Agree with each other to be able to talk openly and honestly about anything at any time.

Just remind her that YOU need to be reminded and re-assured that you are "#1" in her life no matter who she is "cucking" with or exploring a deeper friendship with.
Those little constant reminders usually will help put your mind at ease if you are feeling a little uncomfortable or jealous about a friendship that is starting to feel a little bit "too friendly".

Both of you should always be able to immediately walk away from or cut off anything lifestyle related that is causing your relationship unneeded stress or emotional discomfort.
Talk to each other more about this situation and lay down some emotionally protective guidelines that you both can agree with and live with" while still allowing you both to have fun.

You/She/WE comes first…always…agreed ! :-)

Question: Confident and secure couple seek like minded

Dear Lounge Advice,

I'm looking to spoil and shower my hot, fine-ass husband with a fantasy fulfillment he couldn't even wrap his head around… me and TWO sexy, hot, bi-curious females to engage in a fun and exciting one night stand (unless we're hooked! Haha) that NONE of us will ever forget and yet, remember FOREVER!!

We're an attractive, fit, outgoing couple but we're relatively new to the LS and have NO IDEA how to find what we're looking for.

Looking for solid advice. I want to make this happen!!



Dear (Anonymous),

Well husband sounds like he is in for one hell of a treat :-)

Be patient…trying to get two couples on the same page is hard enough.
Trying to find 2 bi-curious females to join you to please you husband will take some time and leg work to put together.

First make sure you include what you are looking for in your profile descriptive areas and be specific about who and what you are looking for.

If you have any "lifestyle" friends that you are attracted to you could start by networking with them. Maybe they can help you with your fantasy or know some bi-curious singles who might be interested in that kind of fun.

Start contacting members or couples on LL in your area to let them know who you are and what you are looking for and see who responds.
There are lots of couples where the female is allowed a "Hall Pass" to play alone or with others.

Consider attending a major lifestyle orientated Resort, Event, Cruise or local party.
THESE ARE EXCELLENT areas of opportunity to put together "Fantasies on the Fly" as many of the people who are attending are looking to live out their own fantasies or help others enjoy their

Question: Sexy gent for couples, singles play

Dear Lounge Advice,
Single guy here. Best ways for me to get invited to lifestyle events?



Dear (Anonymous),

You need to get your account certified with the real seal certification along with your membership to gain access to our Events area on our home page.

If you already know another certified LL couple or single female connect with them and ask them to assist you with getting your account certified.

If you do not know any LL members try searching for couples or females in your area using the Search Feature or Who's Online and see if any of anyone would be willing to meet up with you to help you get certified.
Even if it just for coffee, dinner or cocktails….no strings attached.

Click here to view Advice archives
100's of answers to your lifestyle questions can be found here!

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